I’m very lonely, But I feel like I’m bothering people if I approach them to talk. also I keep thinking about all the people out there who wait for me to mess up. many of these people share the same interests as me, the same passions. What am I doing so wrong guys? I’m a good person, I care about people, I care about the welfare of others, sometimes I do stupid things but nothing terrible, don’t we all?
I know a lot of you like my work and I appreciate that so much, but most of the time I feel like I’m close to nobody at all.
Sorry for posting so much emotional crap. I wish my thoughts didn’t pop up like this. I just wish I could redeem myself. I’m trying so hard. I love people. the only person I don’t seem to love is me.
There are some people reblogging it quite angry about how all of them are skinny or even reblogging it cos people are pissed off about the models used and don’t think its fair on the models.
What pissed me off about that particular advert was the lack of diversity, how every body in it was a carbon copy of the ones next to it. every bone in the same place, the jaws on their faces all matching up, even the size of their lips. how the BONES were highlighted and glorified above all other features apart from the uncomfortably pushed up bosom’s that were too small to conform to the push up bra (aided along ‘nicely’ with Photoshop and lots of very garish contrast control and airbrushing).
Pro tip, not every girl is fucked off when they see a thin model. It’s the fact every mainstream model is exactly the same that bothers me. That women are advertised to be glorified in one body type is hurtful, when so many of us are not blessed with a perfect body nor a body that listens to you.
I have had as many friends who struggle with being underweight as friends that struggle with being overweight, such as myself. I’ve been on nearly every kind of diet, I eat no more than anyone else I know, I don’t eat junk food. I walk everyday and surprise surprise I’m not the most physically active, but I never have been that way inclined. I was taken to a dietician when I was a young teenager when I started putting on weight. the dietician said I’m not doing anything wrong with my diet, just some people are “born that way.”
Yes, everyone’s bodies are different. Shouldn’t that be something to celebrate? Why are we celebrating the unnatural act of carving a human body and soiling it with digital make up? Shouldn’t the media be helping its customer base instead of mentally damaging it for GENERATIONS to come?? The long and short of it is companies make a killing off peoples insecurities. Toothpaste, diet foods that don’t work, celeb diet schemes. The government in Australia releases many advertising campaigns about the dangers of carrying even a SMALL amount of fat. We all drink it up cos we feel we must. How does this affect us in the long run?
My nan would tell my younger thin mother she was overweight, my mum always worried about my weight. When I have a kid, no matter how hard the media tries, I will not let her/him be swallowed by it or hurt by it as much as me and my family of women have been. I want to end that chain. the pain its caused me is far greater than I want anyone I love to feel. Many of my mental problems stem from feeling physically inadequate and trying to fight the feelings of self loathing verses the truth that the way I have been made to feel about the body is wrong.
As for the people who reblogged the Victoria’s secret saying “DEM GIRLS WORKED THEY BOOTY OFF, DON’T BE HATIN’.”
The very fact these already naturally slim woman are pushed to look like “godesses” scares me. I’m sure they would be pretty without the touch ups and intensive work outs and no eating they put themselves through. The fact an industry that promotes such an unhealthy way of shaping your body is so SUCCESSFUL scares me. not the fact that they are thin.
and to be honest, “beautiful” people such as models who are paid to be thin? I don’t think they’re having such a fucking bad time compared to us little people down here with the feeding tube lodged tightly in our throats, being force fed false expectations of beauty. in comparrison, their lives are so very simple and easy. Their minds are already one with the flow of corruption. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be supermodels. think about it.
to sum it up, thin people aren’t bad, being made to believe ONE body type is bad. ok? I hope that clears it up.
I like many people
Who don’t like me
Which makes me not like them
Which makes me feel like a bad person.